What is bullying?
Although there is no legal definition of bullying, it can be described as unwanted behaviour from a person or group that is either:
- offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting
- an abuse or misuse of power that undermines, humiliates, or causes physical or emotional harm to someone
Bullying behaviour can be:
- Physical – pushing, poking, kicking, hitting, biting, pinching etc.
- Verbal – name calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours, threats, teasing, belittling.
- Emotional – isolating others, tormenting, hiding books, threatening gestures, ridicule, humiliation, intimidating, excluding, manipulation and coercion.
- Sexual – unwanted physical contact, inappropriate touching, abusive comments, homophobic abuse, exposure to inappropriate films etc.
- Online /cyber – posting on social media, sharing photos, sending nasty text messages, social exclusion
- Indirect – Can include the exploitation of individuals.
Anti-bullying Alliance’s definition is:
“The repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological. It can happen face-to-face or online.”
Want more information or to watch the Anti_bullying Alliance’s video follow the link Our definition of bullying (anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk) (External link)
Is your child or young person being bullied in school?
Bullying is not just ‘falling out’. Bullying can have a significant impact on a child’s life well into adulthood. Action needs to be taken quickly and to avoid misidentifying bullying, it is important that schools and other settings have a shared definition of bullying, check their anti-bullying and behaviour policy on their website. This should be understood by the whole school or setting including parents, young people and all staff.
What is banter and when does it become bullying?
Banter is playful and friendly which can include teasing remarks, if the person receiving these knows and feels it is just messing around with no hurtful intent.
If someone isn’t enjoying what is being said or doesn’t find it funny anymore this is crossing the line into bullying.
It isn’t banter when:
It upsets someone
It is hurtful
They are not your friends
The perpetrator has been asked to stop
The receiving person is not laughing
It focuses on insecurities
What is baiting?
This is intentionally saying or doing something that makes the other person angry or annoyed or upset.
The Anti-bullying Alliance states:
“Baiting is a provocative act used to solicit an angry, aggressive or emotional response from another individual.”
It can be used to encourage others to bully.
Baiting can be used in bullying online and offline. Baiting tries to get a reaction out of an individual and can antagonise those you might be bullying others to join in. Sometimes it can be used to get someone to react negatively or loudly so that they get into trouble.
For more information about baiting visit Baiting — Out of the FOG | Personality Disorders, Narcissism, NPD, BPD (External link)
What are the signs if your child is being bullied?
- Behavioural changes – becoming withdrawn, stressed or depressed, difficulty sleeping.
- Coming home with damaged, missing or dirty clothes or bags.
- Asking for more money.
- Not wanting to go to school.
- Changing route to or from school. Being late home.
- Increase or change in obsessional/repetitive behaviour.
- Bullying siblings – copying the acts of bullies at home.
- Deterioration in schoolwork
Please note these signs do not always mean your child is being bullied and there could be other reasons.